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CatwalkQueen
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 5/8/1985
Gender: Female
Expertise: Myself. I can truly learn of myself, everything else is skewed by perception
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  laciviousgoth
Member Since:
9/9/2003
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| Ok for all the 909ers and other UCers out there, how lame is it that we start soooo late. I feel like I'm the most unproductive person on the face pf the planet.It's strange I just feel like I should be doing something educational and productive, but I have to wait a whole nother month. Whatever. In the mean time I'm trying to get the Palo Cedro house in order. Don't parents hold on to the most whackiest stuff. Why do we have all these old copies of Family Cirlce. Our family is many things but it is definetely not a circle and I also dont think that whateverit is can be found in family circle. Anyhoo at this exact moment I'm doing laundry, not mine, the house's. Isn't it strange how many sheets and tableclothes and other linens a family can end up with and not use any of them. ok Amy out | | |
| - Laura GUESS WHAT!!! I found out last night, while i was in the middle of painting the girls' rooms, that I have been officially accepted to go to BRAZIL!!!!! I doubt many of you out there can truly understand the excitement of this. also I desperately miss JILL, and JEN, and CONSTANCE, and CHRISTA, and YALIE and I'm really excited to go visit Jill, cross my fingers, and then start my fabulous life down in Riverside!!!! | | |
| - The General
This update goes in honor of my very special friend who still cares about blogs. and so here I go Jill. This summer has been completely yummy so far( thank God I havent turned into one of those girls who describe things as "yummy") Im waiting to find out if my acceptance to Rio was accepted and Im working at this local inn as a receptionist. And im revamping our house and seeing if i can give off the idea that we actually are organized which will never came to pass as long as palo cedro is still around.
My new plan is that we move the clubhouse somewhere else on the property and I can become a crazy cat lady inside. that is if my mom doesnt beat me to it. I havent spoken to anyone from college except my roommate and i even called up my friend Ernesto. and let me just say this about that. He is definetely no Matt. Matt is particularly amazing in that our relationship doesnt deteriorate with time. It stays the same and that is one of the rarest and most treasured qualities. Whereas with othere people they seem awkward and cant remember how to have conversations and then we both make lame excuses and I hang up feeling slightly exascerbated . plus I may get to see him next weeked along with Scooter and im pleased as punch, tickled pink, and jolly as a jumbuck. and with that i bid adieu | | |
| You know, I tried so hard. I really really did. And yeah when it comes down and you do the math those are probably the grades i deserve, but couldn't you have made them a little better. Where's my E for effort. I really pushed myself harder than I knew i could and I felt myself cracking. I felt myself cracking on all my seams. You know I'm not okay with Bs. I'm not okay with this mediocrity that was given to my work, from my entire nights without sleep I spent writing papers and looking up the same damn words I have been studying since freshamn year of high school because i honestly cannot remember how to say them. I always kinda knew that no good deed goes inpunished, but did the punishment have to be so harsh? Did it have to be so personal? I spent that morning, do you remember that morning when i was up at 6:30am because i hadn't gone to sleep yet and i was walking to the library, returning the reserve books we had because we didnt want the fine and I heard the corners of my mine coming from every step I took with my heels and it echoed of the arches around me. and I had to consciously remind myself that the mind is more delicate than we think. And that my mind had to spend all its waking time trying to not feel so fucking stupid for not knowing how to speak my own major and still trying more to feel like I belong in that class with native speakers that looked at me like i was hte most amusing, but displaced creature ever. And that smirk that girl would give me every time i would speak. and the times I walked home from the libary up to the Newman Center and than up the streets to my house at eleven o'clock, midnight. Or when I would get to campus at 8am or 9am and be there till 11pm going from task to task to task because I get my work done, because I do what is asked of me and I tried. I really tried and I'm tired now. i'm so tired.
Maybe the numbers are numbers are numbers, but when I sacrafice myself, when i spend to much time inside the angry inverse between my ears and I freefall for too long, couldn't you cushion my landing?
and that morning I told you about, the one where I had to return the library books before I went to sleep, I went back to LeAnn's apartment and stayed up the extra hours to translate my paper and I even went to my other class later that afternoon. | | |
| So i am hanging out at my second home, the Yalie-Ahely crib and its been just the best most relaxin' weekend. Sitting down and not having to worry about those french presentations anymore. AND i am going to disneyland next wednesday with my JILL AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER ABOUT THAT, or the fact that laptop keyboards love to have their caps locked and im to lazy to change it. the thing that does make me a little nervous is that i will be missing a class for the sixth time, and thats not great at all, but i have worked to hard this quater, relearning all my french, finding housing, finding myself that im not going to deny myself this. but i still dont feel that great about it. im going to give it a little bit and than feel better. but thats not the biggest thing. the biggest thing is that yalie and i are going to have the most best greatest lives ever | | |
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